8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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