I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
