hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
