I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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