Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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