Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
