she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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