would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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