it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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