Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
