Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just want nice things and good sex
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
