based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize