You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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