are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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