Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize