How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
