tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
