too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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