Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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