im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And then he peed in my hair
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
