lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
