I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize