Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
