I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
