I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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