This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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