I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
