i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
