Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
