a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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