apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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