i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
