i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
