I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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