Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
