my soul wont recognize me after tonight
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize