hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
