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• (408): View more from California

  How was your sisters wedding?

  (1-408): View more from California

  Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.

  (408): View more from California

  sisterhood ftl.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

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• (909): View more from California

  According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that

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• (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  A tequila worm?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick

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