I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
