i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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