She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize