1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
