physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
