I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
