just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
