Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
