I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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