I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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