I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
