I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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