I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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