i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
i've created a new STD.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
