I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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