The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
