Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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