Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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