dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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