just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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