Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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