lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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