when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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