I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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