Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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