I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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