"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize