problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
