I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
